JustMarl

hey hope everyones doing fine and welllfed~ haha.

em. Still couldnt sleep. So semalam Anis dtg rumah tido sini. Kelmarin rehearsal utk convo. ntah la. not so much preparation actually. Im not even that excited macam org lain. Im not sure why. Maybe because I dont really feel happy macam tu. Oh god Im so desperate and lonely! LOL! Well at least Mama and Abah are still healthy and they’re always there for me..

Em. pasal Dslr. maybe I have to put that desire aside for a while.. I dont really have the money to get THE ONE that Ive been wanting. well, dulu aku tade la check2 price die ke ape because aku taw la mahal, and tanak macam nanti harge die wat aku ilang smgt nk kumpul. And even skang pun. Aku rase aku takkan mampu nak beli lansung. maybe bukan dlm 10 tahun pertame ni. wahahhaa.maybe it wasnt meant for me at all. or maybe someday je kot :]

So Im just gonna keep the money. maybe utk bile2 emergency in the future. or bile tibe2 aku rase nk gi bcuti kt Sri Lanka or sumting.

AH! Ive met my longggggggggggglostttttttchildhoooooooodbestie!! Afiqah Zahidi! Omg. shes so freakin talll and prettyyyy. I miss her. okay sbenanye pretty mcm kalut2 skit time jumpe tu but I really hope the next time things went well! haha. we hugged like lama jugak and she muah2 me. hahaha. oh my. Kasih syg trus masuk dlm my veins. haha.

There are people in my humble and so not interesting life that I wanted to meet again someday but I just never does tapi the people that Id rather die than meeting? mesti salu je tsrempak kt mane2 dgn senang gile babai. and the more that I wanted certain people to stay in my life, the things yg dorang buat is alwayssss leave. Haha. lifes just cruel sometimes but thats okay. Life couldnt kill me. cos I died few times already. hmmmm

The last time I meet Najat, she said someones been texting her asking bout me. and shes like. HA. Remy been asking bout you. i was like.

Remy who? :| and tgk number tu mmg familiar. well yeah. aku sorang yg pelupe. but utk org yg aku penah sakitkan hati die, org sinned towards them, I wont forget their names. so yeah. I never kenal anyone with the name Remy. but my heart keep telling that its Nuar. Just like weekss ago aku mcm tertanye2 die watpela skang sume. of course aku takkan kcau idup die lagi. after all the things Ive done to him. men. gotta have guts to show up balik dlm hidup die.. and Najat buat bende btul by x layan and wat2 x kenal sape maliza. hahaha. nice one naguto! u bab2 wat2 x kenal i mmg terer :P jk.

okay. pastu since Im like eager myself nk taw skit2 pasal cmne idup die skang. well kalau sape2 taw ape aku penah wat kt die, mesti paham kot nape aku still kesah.. of course aku kesah. ktorang kawan lame kot. like almost same lame ngn the relationship I had with that person the name I refuse to mention. and he neverrrrrrrrrrrr take advantage kt aku bile2 pun. hes like. the real man kot. just too bad, hes more like a protector to me. like abang you know? and that wouldnt change.

So aku nyama jadi another bestfriend of maliza. *oh aku sedang melibatkan diri dgn drama*, and ckp najat cite pasal the text messages and that aku just cautious nak taw nape die tnye sal maliza sume. korek korek korek. so Nuar ckp die still nk kawan ngn MALIZA tu kalau bleh. mesti la x. demm nuar. I couldnt forgive myself if I ever hurt you again. So better macam ni je. so aku*yg nyama jadi bestfriend maliza tu* cakap kt die yg baik xyah kawan kot sbb maliza dah nk tunang pas die abes study.

i was like. WATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT am i doing! okay sgt ketare yg aku sgt bosan kt umah and got nothing better to do. :| and so he said. okay kalau camtu die tade pape nk ckp. harap aku happy ngn hidup aku. and babai.

:|

I really hope he finds someone yg btul2 ikhlas ngn die. and xkn sakitkan ati dy. hes really a nice guy. yep! i think im pretty lucky jugak sbb even ade la like few dumbasses yg aku jumpe, ade sikit2 tu yg memang bleh diharap and baikkkk gilerrr. just too bad. I dont deserve good guys. :|

still couldnt make up my mind what I want with who.

it touches me, like tgk the boyfriend dtg kt konvo the girlfriend, took pictures together, amek gmba with family dorang. tgk macam dorang tu dah mmg macam satu family pun, and the boyfriend sit next to the girlfriend, looking lebey2 lak excited than the girlfriend *which is cute gila* and tgk the girlfriend faces sbb dpt bunge and teddy bear..macam comel gile. yeah Im pretty jealous…

as happy as I am pun sbb Alhamdulillah. macam2 drama time kt college, tp sume tu bjaye dilalui same2 ngn member2 lain an.. cume this feeling.. not the feeling I expected I would feel..

Well, ksimpulannye, aku just harap everything went well with the event.. InsyaAllah.

and bile ntah. tgk cite the Buried Life. generally pasal a group of friends yg travel across Europe?? kot. sbb nk laksanekan sume to do things before they die. dorang like ade this list, and dorang try utk buat sume yg ade dlm list tu, at the same time, help people along the journey. bestnye jadi mcm tu.. So aku pun mcm inspired gile nk buat jugak my own to do things before I die and maybe ade beberape je buat mase ni, but Ill keep adding :] and let see brape yg aku mampu*or sempat buat. haha.

found my old diaries. HAHAH. x bace sume. bace sikit2. tp malu sgt dgn gaye penulisan bm aku tu. so aku mcm tanak bace and tanak igt. wahahahah!!

06.02.03

aposjdaijd

okay goodnight!!