JustMarl

Ive decided not to ever eveerrrr spell the word BROGA *exception* so Im gonna start calling it BROG.

The memories I had today with my best best buddies; Atheo, Cecami, Shaggy, Effa, Lalat, Akim, Ipin are some of the memories that could not ever be replaced.

*Ipin is Ath’s boyfie and Akim is Lat’s boyfie.

Ouh I wish someone was there with me, but dy ade class. hehe. tape! meme ikut!! hish bising je kucing tu penat penat. rase nk tolak die turun bukit.

Shaggy came to my house around 11pm I think? and we sembang2, tgk Survivor kt TV8, pastu tgk few cite Mlayu yg lame2 dulu. smpai tableh nk tgk da. sbb rambut org dulu mcm klaka. *not like dulu zaman P Ramlee, its like crite 7years back. Plakon pun mcm mude2 lagi. haha.

And smpai dah tade channel nk tgk. sorry Moy aku tade Astro. hehe. so ape yg ade je lah.. plan asal is Im supposed to dtg rumah dy but x jadi sbb rumah dy ramai org. Abah x bagi aku kua kul 3AM drive sorang dr umah. so he was like, kalau aku tido umah sape2 its different. even aku still tak taw mane yg different.. its not like my 1st time kua kul 3 AM. hahaha. *teringat time presentation eve for ENT. we stayed allllllllll night kt McD Bangi and balik mase nk around 5AM. haha.

Rindu~

Neway. mase tu dah pukul 1am. so I was like. OK SHAGGY! kite kene bangun kul 2AM and masak!! – both of us planning on making sandwiches. even plan nk gerak same2 kul 4AM dr umah lalat, ktorang mmg saje plan like 3 hours earlier. biase la kan. janji mlayu. hehehe. itu pun da gerak lambat. Around kul 4.20AM camtu baru gi umah Ath. Luckily ktorang smpai cepat and kitorang still ikut plan even lewatt skitt smpai Broga. haha. excited gile.

Facts.

1) Aku gi without torchlight. infact, rasenye only 2 out of 6 yg bawak :|

2) I dont wear sportshoes but slipper

3) I dont wear my sweatshirt/sport attires.

4) Melantak sandwiches dlm kete mase on da way nak gi Broga tu. THE BIGGEST MISTAKE!!

So dalam keexcited aku and keangkuhannye aku mase kt bawah tu, siap parking kt luar which kene jalan jauh sikit. *tp mcm bersyukur I did, sbb org parking dlm kene bayar RM2. haha* Aku rase aku minum byk air. even mase stay up kt uma ngn Shaggy tu, siap sempat wat Neslo ais satu mug.

Mmg I dont feel that well sebelum nk daki. Sbb adrenaline org yg had caffeine kan mcm lagi laju than org biase. so campo2 plak ngn excited aku. aku rase segar. or only my brain felt dat way, tp my heart mcm beating wayy too fast than it should have, mase like 20minutes daki. SERIOUSLY… aku mmg rase. Aku rase mcm nk mati. No Im not kidding. mmg aku asik ckp, Aku rase mcm nk mati. and tcungap2. with my kepale mcm berdenyut2 like hell. baju dah basah kuyup. aku pakai 3 lapis baju. Inner, dress bertali and black cardy. sume nipis2 je. tp sume itam. so mcm. OKAY. ANOTHER biggest mistake. haha.

Luckily tade nyamuk gigit. >.< Turn out, mmg la x ramai, tp ade quite a few jugak org gi time2 mcm ktorang. sbb nk tgk sunrise. Bile dah 40minutes. God the path. mcm steep sgt2. SO NOTTTT like those pictures I googled. haha. tu gmba2 da smpai puncak. mase ondaway nye mmg x diduge. Aku even dah decide dlm hati, saying, I dont want to continue. Nak STOP. like few times. tp kaki aku still gerak. goshh. dengan kaki bdenyut2 nye.. serious.. aku baru sedar KeAgungan Allah SWT. okay aku x gi smyg Subuh tadi >.<.

but yeah.. sikit2 rase kerdil sgt2. and mostly rase x paham, like WHY THE HELL IM HERE AND WHAT AM I DOING!! aku rase mcm it was a crazy idea nk pegi daki BROG. I didnt really mcm menikmati the whole moment mase matahari naik, sbb aku too busy focusing on breathing, tambah kaki denyut2 and the feeling rase mcm nk putus nyawa. I cant imagine macam mane lah rase org nk mati. bile nyawa like dah half badan?..gosh..

And few times jugak, mase aku tgk kt gaung2, aku rase mcm nk jatuh. no. not macam aku terhuyung ke tepi or something. tp I have that look mase tgk gaung tu. the look macam gaung tu tgh tarik ak.. and aku just rase mcm nk pegi kt situ. :|

Scary stufff.

pape pun, Alhamdulillah. Sume bjalan lancar je. and sume slmt. its kinda dangerous actually mase nk naik ats tu. bahaye gile. tade like proper tangge even made of dirt kan, mmg la ade like holes utk kite bleh pijak2. tp mcm sume uneven. and ntah la. curam!! ade tu nampak macam 75 degree punye curam gak la.

AKU DAH TEKAD. THIS IS THE FIRST AND MY LAST. haha.

teringin nk bawak mama and abah. tp mestila dorang x larat. hm.

:[

oh god. kaki still bedenyut2… maybe I sounded mcm exaggerating gila babi. tp. seriously. thats exactly how I felt. or maybe ape yg aku gmbarkan even x cukup nk really resemble my true emotions. rase nk nanges pun ade. tp mostly rase nk mati :|

bkn mase jalan,… even mase balik pun.. nape ntah.. hati ak mcm tdetik.. aku ckp kt diri aku .  ‘x lame ko ni…’ but then aku mnakutkan diri sindri pastu aku decide tanak pk pape dah. and smlm I had a terribe terrible dream which aku tanak cite. hmm.

bile sume tu nk trhapus dr idup ak? well. maybe now prasaan aku more to ‘id rather not know’ and ‘ id rather not feel anything’ berbanding dgn prasaan ‘i hate that its gotta end dis way but im gonna treasure every moments that we had together’ . sorry thats kinda bullshit.

I live for something else now.

I’ll go wherever my fate brings me.

oh lupe nk cite. aku muntah tadi. sikittttttttt lagi nk muntah kt kaki Akim. wahahahahha!! gosh. muntah mcm pili bomba! x sempat napas, da BLUERKK again. tp lepas tu mmg relieve gilee!

oh and,daki broga is mcm the most brilliant idea utk mreke2 yg baru lepas putus cinte. sakit hati kan?? susah nk napas kan? rase cam nk mati kan?nangis cam besok nk mati kan? well I thought thats (the feeling of heartbroken/crushed) like the PAINIEST painnnnnnnnn ever. tp sbenanye x. daki brog mcm darab 100 to that dying feeling. wahahahahah!!

PS/ Im too exhausted I dont give a damn on grammatical error. sorry ya. zzz

tido time. I’ll update the pics later.