JustMarl

hey everyone! happy Sunday!! goin back to Arau tomorrow morning. bas kul 930am. went to Alamnda tadi beli barang skit, tnampak someone yg bkerje bgitu tekun. and tnampak Lalat. wahahahah! i was thinking, maybe aku pun nk keje part time gak. definitely kene start bile abes last paper, because kalau tunggu2 bsukerie kt uma mmg sedap la. aku mmg xkn keje la cmtu. because, fortunately, budak tu da bank in duit cmere. WOW. mcm mimpi..

sooo, now tat duit da masuk, baru aku bitaw mama pasal kmere rosak. mama mara aku sbb suh budak tu baya :|

ok nk flashback jap…bukan aku yg suh die baya..die yg nk baya..so aku just btaw harge asal je. sbb aku nk beli baru yg same. tibe2 mama ckp skang da mura. aku x puas ati sbb aku tgk harge standard online. still same. bwek.

okay maybe i did went a lil bit harsh towards her. hmm

:|

anyway. smgt aku smakin bkobar2 nk dptkan dslr. and enpon cdah pun da jumpe. so aku lagi happy sbb xyah ganti. mcm taw2 je aku tade duit..

oh. im not gonna be online as kerap as always sbb aku TEPAKSE wat study maut. abiskan satu buku dlm sehari. which only akan start besok :| mygod. x seda2 diri lagi. da rase pandai sgt la aku study last2 minit gile babai. ntah la.   aku nantok sgt. aku tido lmbt ari2. bgn lambat, tp i dont get a quality punye tido sbb bantal busuk tade ngn aku.. plus the bantal x sedap.. :[ rindu…

aku target, awl bulan taun depan aku dpt da dslr tu. ok maybe tpakse pinjam duit abah. pinjam duit abah means xyah baya balik.. hahahahha. tu yg syokkk. bisnes ngn abah x pnah rugi :P

im proud of myself sbb aku rase aku da wat keputusan yg sgt matang utk certain2 bende baru2 ni. akhirnye aku membesar dgn normal. yay!!

nt kene booking syahmisuhaimi awal2 utk teman aku gi bli kmere. :3

emm. ok. so id like to wish everyone, good luck for their finals. and to Syazana the Moy Shaggy. Tahniah! anda dah dpt diploma!. die pegi konvo kot arini…patot la busy je. ohmen. aku kene dptkan kmere tu sblum konvo!

me and moy satu mase dulu. I have recent pictures with her, tapi dlm kemere. and the memory card kt budak yg rosakkan tu. so i decided, okay jom slongkar old album, and amek gmba yg ade knangan besttt. so this is mase open house rumah Amir kt Seri Kembangan. BBQ nite. siap ade fireworks lagi~ im missing all those fun time we had :3

smoge Allah melindungi kami balik Arau. and smoge kami skeluarge slmt pulang.. InsyaAllah. this week is gonna be my last week kt Arau before balik for sem break.mama and abah is gonna dtg Arau amek i because barang ade byk gile. oh x saba nk packing!

ok take care, play safe. and hopefully to see you guys in a week. buhhbyeee!

this is my grazy retarted bestfriend, Naguto. HAHAHA. this pic made my day. :3

hari ini sy dpt makan McD. hahaha. thank youuuuuuu.

satu impian tercapai. it was weird nape aku x order doublecheeseburger. why?? :|

I had a good time today. the legging keep falling down i had to go to the toilet. wth.……maybe buntut aku da besa.

oh. tadi online. ade something yg x disenangi berlaku! SOMEONE add me. :| someone yg aku dah mule x suke. i wont approve you okay loser. mesti die nk penuhkan otak aku dgn cite rekaan yg bodoh and his lies. I trust her. with my soul. Im not gonna let you do tis to her okay u scum bag. uve done enaf damages. sorry i dont see you as friend now dat I know what youve done to her you morronnn. please back off stay away from us. dont make me go there and bitchslappp you okay. you have no idea how much u deserve datt. and he even PM ak kt ym. sorry. aku tpakse block. i want to have nothingg to do with you okay. sorry. enaf said. leave me alone. leave her alone. leave US alone.

anyway. I miss you Aida. and only a month or so je die nk balik. I cant wait :]

by tat time pun aku da sem break so we can hang out. theres this one time, I feel like goin somewhere yg no one knows me, somewhere aku bleh tolak masalah tepi jap. i dunno. i feel like doing everything crazy. i even consider goin bald and pierce my tongue. and kening. seriously. aku da nekad mase tu.. tp this one friend of mine makes me realize dat its not worth it pun. and hes right. thank you sbb tlg sedarkan aku dr kebodohan tersebut. hahaha. baik gi bsukerie kt afamosa ke, main rollercoaster ke, masuk uma antu ke! kt mane ntah ade? :|baik pegi wat mende yg x penah buat. like rockclimbing. even sgt meragukan aku mampu nk panjat batu tu :|. too heavy. hahaha. but id love to try tho :3 jom aida!! kite pegi becuti nak??

just the two of us

ohh impian nk dpt dslr semakin dekat. budak yg rosakkan kmere aku kate nk bank in duit. hihihi. pls pls. smoge dpt dslr cpt2. >.<

anyway aku da sleepy. so. later! besok kene bgn awl sbb kene anta mama gi keje. zzzzzz

haha. tertgk album lame… i miss old times!

ok the movie was just okay laaa. okay for a time punye watch. klaka at first. tp mcm they exaggerate byk sgttt. :|

anyway. I had fun meeting Miela, Anees, and Fana smlm. These are my collegemates. Miela and Anees used to be my roommates dulu. Fana plak kawan2 dorang, and kawan ngn aku skali. plus, Fana rapat ngn Naguto. haha. so we are all buddiess. dem mesti bgn lambat bile duk uma. well x dok uma pun bgn lambat gak..

Smlm tido lambat sgt.. plus mate aku pedih sbb lense tu kan da lame and da infected. mate da merah2 sbla. pakai sbla sbb the other lense da koyak. but i have to wear lense kalau x, x nampak .

I need to kumpul duit for the Lasik.  anyone?? ishh. untung aa kawan2 aku ramai ade sugardaddy. duit not a problem to them. ok jeles disitu sbb career ak da musnah bak kate SyahmiSuhaimi.

Anyway. Smlm tataw yg kete tade. so aku sengaje la siap2 lambat nk jumpe Anees kt Alamanda. turn out da turun bawah baru pasan kete tade.I had to troubled anees to come and fetch me then pegi Alamanda balik. Sorry anees. aku tataw…… So smpai2, ktorang gi beli tiket, kul 310pm. time tu awl lagi kot. ktorang pekene 5 lagu sorang. abes2 je da kul 305pm. timing BAIKKK punyee. Abes movie yg mleret2 tu ktorang gi mkn pizza. ok aku nyesal. Sorry kawan2. kalau gi mkn Mcd mesti kenyang. Sbbnye aku da lame x mkn pizza. konon mcm tringin la. waaa. baik aku stick je ngn Mcd. x pnah menghampekan..

okay so ni gmba taun lepas? sem last kot kalau x silap.. and im not even sure if the dress fits anymore

anyway so thats us. Fana wasnt in the picture and yg the girl in green is Pida. die pun x dtg smlm..so time ni la last time ak jumpe die kott.

oh! lense da smpai. okaylaa. the violet punye lense x la nmpk purplish sgt?? and i tink lense tu mcm besa gilee. i loikee! too bad tade cmere nk amek gmba………. saba k. ill update some other time. bile budak tu da bank in duit kt ak. :|

things are gettin better now with most of the kusut stuffs. eventually, tido gak la yg dpt menenangkan ak. haha. Ak rase, mungkin aku xkn jadi aggressive sgt kot..I mean, maybe Im just gonna follow with the flows? Im not gonna push thingss utk turn out mcm yg aku nak. not anymore. sbb salunye mende cmtu xkn jadi. tp wat things jadi huge mess after that. I like it this way. no pushy2 and rilek je..okla for certain situations maybe aku akan agressive sikit2. but not for long. and tats just it la ok!

I havent meet my bestfriend Eka. tataw bile free nk jmpe die. actually ak free je. cume bende2 cam, nk tungu die free, plus time2 ni la aku tade duit scare tibe2. and pastu kete plak kadang2 ade kadang2 tade. and time aku nk gune la die tade. salu cmtu la. so… ntah la. tapi tape k, exam sminggu je :] lepas tu I have the whoooleeee monthhhh yg nk dispend. cant wait :3

okay dah nantok. nk tido jap. ptg skit nk kua makan. and its gonna be the first time dlm minggu yg aku balik nanti, aku bawak kete. rindu rimau biru!

later peeps!

PS/ I miss you guys! thanks for meeting me smlm :] hope to meet you guys lagi some other time!

hey everyone!

Im currently feelin tired and worn out. harini shopping like gila babis. spend almost rm130. okay tu dah mcm rm2000 bg ak. :| i cant withdraw any money lagi dah.

bought 2 hair bands, and this one silver hair band. I LOIKE SO MUCH!! watched amenakin on youtube last night and the way she wear the hair band mcm lawa gile. tp die la lawa. it doesnt look tat pretty on me, but ….ok la kot??????????????? hahaha

okay so I met Atheo. we watched BURIED. x best sgt bagi aku. sbb the whole 1 hour and 30mins tu abeskan tgk org tu dlm coffin je :| rimas gile. aku mcm nk gi masuk dlm coffin tu and tarik die kua. lame sgt.

So. its already 24hours.I know you can do it.just keep it up and you’ll be fine..:]

so, this is the movie which is sux!

plus theres an Indian sitting next to me and his leg kinda langgar2 mine i started to think he sengaja. hahahaha. okay maybe i tink too much. then I go sandar at Atheo’s shoulder and just tried to enjoy the movie.

well, I had fun with you today Atheo :] and Im happy that things went well with you. You deserve the best okay!!

Em. so few keep asking on how are things with me and my personal life. well honestly guys. I dont have the answers.pleaseee stop asking. I wish I have the answers too, but I dont. Things are just. ambiguous. :|

so dah almost 5 hari aku duk uma and aku lom study :| okay i dun wanna talk bout it.

Im meeting Anees tomorrow. demm ak tade duit nk makan kalau gi karok. >.< kene makan siap2 kt uma. hmmm

Its 2.19am. im freaking sleepy. I am. Salunye aku akan gile at 8pm kalau ptg tu aku x tido. haha. BUTTTT, here i am, loading Frozen movie. now watching the first 30minutes. hey mcm not bad. maybe im gonna habiskan the movie tonite then go to bed. yeahhhh. im a movie freak! lagi2 yg thriller or horror. hmmm. But im sure it would be nicer to watch it with someone you know. like a teman. :]

in my dreams.

ok. next

aku lupe nk ckp. kul 8pm tadi kua teman Lalat gi tgk perfume kt mapley p9. jumpe Capik the dealer and he brought a friend along. it was pretty much a weird meeting. because I dont know any of them. and turn out lalat pun x rapat ngn die. so we kinda have nothing to talk about. selain just keep on looking at everyones face. :| weird weird. yg penting aku dpt kek batik yg lalat wat. okay sedap gile. siyes! thanks lat!!

ok. nk sambung movie. thats all the updates for harini. its not a chronological punye order because. i dont care.maybe some other time k! bye! goodnight!

hai. mase ni saye rase saye ni sorang yg sgt LAME. the lamest in the whole universe. I just dont feel good. I dont feel right. I feel mean, I feel like im the mosttt jahat person.and maybe because its so fuckin true, sbb tu aku rase sakit hati.

everytime aku pening, i was hoping. literally, i was hoping that aku ade barah otak or sumtin. and bile aku sikat rambut, tgk rambut byk gugur, aku harap aku ade kanser. and tat i wud die very soon. *ignoring the fact im so totally not ready to die.* but its good kot sbb aku sntiase teringat mati.. tp mostly aku imagine aku sempat diselamatkan cos it turn out the cancer blom tahap serious, cume maybe they had to cut half of my brain or sumtin, soo i lost some of the memories, and im so lucky enaf, the memories Ive lost is the one dr dajah 6 till sem 3 *the time yg i DONTTT want to remember the most*. so around 8 or 9 years ago. LOL.

could i be that lucky??

at times when I feel like I want to talk to someone. I wanted to call someone so bad. but I couldnt. cos. well I couldnt just tibe2 out of nowhere call anyone and bother people and blurt everything out with them having no clue what im gonna say.

soo

im just gonna telan it and tido.

zzzzzzz

at times mcm ni, i miss Umpa so much.. maybe die dah buang Umpa…

pnah tpk to get myself a new teddy. gantikan umpa. but who am i foolin? tade teddy yg bleh replace umpa. i miss his smell and his bulu yg berserabot tu. and his sponge yg dah lembik2 sbb lame sgt pakai..

…

hm. i cud really use a hug right now.

Im not sure when youll be telling me lies and when youll speak the truth. butttt im not gonna do the analysing part nemore sbb its kinda tiring. penatttt taw nk bace2 org just to figure out later that they lied. sakit ati satu. tp the DISSAPOINTMENT because u put too much hopes in them. yg tu almost mcm heartbreaking. trust me, my heart dah being damaged enaf you cant hurt it nemore. but tat doesnt give you the reasons to keep hurting!!

I SO WANNA DO BAD THINGS TO YOU RIGHT NOW TAW X?

I could be wrong. but  I trust ME more than I trust you. so maybe at times, im not gonna try so hard to read you anymore. Im just gonna rely on my guts and instinct to tell me if you’re telling lies or else. if im wrong about you. dont blame me. tu sbb u dah biase sgt menipu, i cant tell the difference anymore.

im just gonna go to bed and hopefully tomorrow is a better day for everyone :]

meeting Atheo for movie esok and I cant wait. I miss youuuu so much! :3

PS/ tekanan mcm ni wat aku lapa.

at last dpt gak makan MCD!thanks to Miss Wanie kerana mengambil sy, bawak makan MCD, siap gi shopping beli beg *out of nowhere, I DONT EVEN NEED A BAG!* tp aku rase ak puas ati. hahahaha. tanak buang the price tag! :P and thanks sbb anta aku balik and thanks for sharing :] tp sedey triple cheeseburger da tade. they shud just put it in the regular menu.

now listening to KellyRowland-Commander

RIGHT NOW I COMMANNDDD YOUUU TO, DANCEEE!

hahaha. okay im havin one of those notty thots. ignore me thank you.

ah. suddenly i miss my camera :[

bende da tade baru nk dicari2. lol. byknye gmba dlm tu……

aku order lense baru! yay! 3pair rm100. a good bargain kot. sbb mende same kt tmpt lain harge rm38 a pair. hmmm

So this time saje nk gedik2 try color lain. aku amek color violet. FIRST TIME K! i hope it suits me. the other two, cam bese la, grey and brown. x saba nk dpt!

ok bye!

hey everyone. its my 1st day at home :] I reached bukti jalil around 530am. hey not so badd la naik bus ALONE mlm2. hahaha. only ade backpain and sakit tengkuk because aku dpt seat blakang skali yg taleh turun tu.okay ALONE tu dibesarkan because. it was my first time naik bas sorang2.nervous and excited. and most importantly. i survived. haha. okay enaf with the bragging. So i was actually alone in the bus from Kangar till Kedah. smpai Kedah baru org naik. you know its a creepy feeling u kt blakang skali and you keep looking at the empty seats with the no lights and once a while you mcm catch a glimpse of kepale org kt one of those seats anddddd then u decide you should tido. hahahaha. okla it wasnt that creepy. I like the dark. :]

this is actually my second post. sbb tadi tibe2 lappy tpadam. turn out the battery plugged off from the socket and aku da jumpe battery laptop ni. rupe2nye slame ni aku tetinggal kt uma. its kinda frustrating. tp tapelah. I have plenty of time now. haha.

so this is my nombo giliran. hahaha. 493. mygod. kul bape la tu..

and bile kt uma biase la., aku akan minum nescafe nonstop smpai migraine. and aku still blom gi mkn mcd. argh. rindu k!! tade sape nk teman… >.<

and kt uma ni panas ..da rindu arau yg ujan ari2 tu.

and i have a good news! maybe aku da dpt rumah. somwhere kt fasa 3 near cmart. lepas ni Cmart tu jadi tempat lepak tetap la kott. wawaawa. I havent talk to Abah pasal the car but hopefully bleh bawak kete gi sane. pls pls. i need it. >.<

so everyone. sile hubungi saya. rindu korng sume. jom jumpe and mkn kt nandos. or pizza. >.<

bye!

Helloo.

So its already Friday! I cant wait to get home >.< Most of the assignments dah siap. oh tinggal RM je. hmmm. I tink I’m gonna balik on Sunday morning kot. budak2 ni dah excited nk balik I tink dorang mesti balik ari Sabtu. Besok ade last test. QMT paper. Tajuk arini agak special memandangkan subject QMT is not one of my favorites. tapi tadi dah dapat markah Gerak Gempur and due2 paper aku dpt over 35. SO yeah! Im quite happy! maybe it wont help much. tp sinar harapan aku utk dpt good grade for this subject tu muncul kembali.

haha. kelmarin, Abah kejut pagi2 suh smyang Subuh. which aku missed lagi. :| argh. I need to take sembahyang seriously from now on. x gune la aku tutup litup ape jadah pastu x smyg. it wasnt easy tp bab kate Farhanees, bende wajib kene la wat, jgn wat alasan. oh tersentuh hati beta disitu. okay.

pastu tibe2 plak Abah text.

A word of wisdom from Abah’s friends;

“Sometimes Allah breaks our spirit to save our soul. Sometimes Allah breaks our heart to make us whole. Sometimes Allah allows pain so we can be stronger. Sometimes Allah sends us failure so we can be humble. Sometimes Allah allows illness so that we can take better care of ourselves. Sometimes Allah takes everything away so we can learn the value of everything He gave us. Make plans but understand that we live by Allah’s grace”

And aku baru terperasan.. yg this past few days aku bgn tp I had tears on my eyes. I tried to remember the dreams. And regret after that. Cos I dont really wanna rmember. Its kinda weird salu nye kalau we overthink about that something, baru la possibility nk mimpi pasal bende tu tinggi ye x?? pelik sbb aku rase aku x pk lansong da pasal mende2 tu. tp kerap plak mimpi..

…

harap2 sume tu tade makne because they’ve done enaf damages. takkan dlm mimpi pun they could’nt leave me alone? :|

Anyway. Let’s not spoil the mood dgn bende2 ni, haa. smlm dorang siapkan video Arab kt blik aku. aku plak tido mcm ape ntah x seda smpai la kul 4am. tu pun sbb nk peepee. Sblom tu aku gi jawab soklan yg kt Malaysian Soft Skills punye website. so mari kite saksikan result dr test aku.

nampak x? ok tape bia aku summarize. So, utk most of the category, aku mencapai tahap. hahahahahahahaha. kene jawab 200 soklan je. x byk pun k. paling rendah is kemahiran keusahawan aku yg membuatkan aku terwondering whether btul ke course yg aku amek ni :|

da sambung degree baru nk tnye. lol

okay anyway. paling tinggi is communication skills. HAHAHAH. aku rase mcm aku jawab tipu je. x. aku rase dah sehabis jujur da. adekah aku terlalu yakin dgn diri sindri? mygodd. lame2 bleh terkonfius keyakinan tu dgn prasaan bongkak and riak. mintak dijauhkan…

soo. smoge aku diberi petunjuk utk balik besok or Ahad. I really dont have a clue. :|

byebye! Ill be quite busy mlm ni sbb nk study QMT. tp rasenye ade je mase utk online. hahahahah ok bye!

its a freakin 2.37am and I couldn’t shut my eyes.

RM presentation, Osha test and HR test AND Arab oral’s test are coming up earlyy mornin lagi. tadi time nk bace OSHA nantok gile plak smpai menguap bape blas kali. da tido tanak lene lak. hm.

tonight, i think i needed someone to talk to. but i have NOOO cluee who to talk with? NO CLUE at all. well, ade la mcm a short list of names. tapi.. lepas pk dlm. maybe i shudnt bother them ngn cite boring ak. zzz

maybe dorang akan tetido smpai 5 kali sbb bosan sgt.

i want to call him too. tapi wait. aku x pnah amek taw pasal die, so bile tibe2 aku ade masala, and i feel so bad and rase nk talk to someone, aku call die plak? NO NO NO. tats mcm selfish gile kalau aku wat. even aku taw aku ni selfish, but i dont want to seem mcm btul obvious gile k. haha.

i just want this week to end cpt2.. sbb lepas sminggu dah survive, by tat time mesti aku taw aku ley survive another week, and another and another.. kot? im sure i wont live tat long..so harap2 mende camni x bagi halangan kt aku utk bsukerie and appreciate those small little things yg happens to be everywhere around us.

OH im sorry. I didnt mean to give u a cold shoulder. tp aku tade mood sgt2 mase ko dtg bilik tadi. sorry mira.. i dont want to let it out to u too, so sbb tu aku jwb mcm tanak jwb. sorry tat i dont even looked at you. :[

to that special someone, one of my childhood bestfriend.. i know tat we’re not dat close like how we used to be,and i might not be the first person you gonna call if anything, but..i just want you to know, ill always pray for ur safety, health and may Allah blesses you, give you the strength to overcome things.. I know it hurts as hell. and it still is. I just decided to ignore it even sometimes the stupid memories just came knocking on ur brain wall? i sorang je ade wall kt luar brain.if ade the surgery utk erase certain memory, your the first i cari and begged at. hahaha. zzz well, im sure the first 2 weeks, or first 2 months? gonna be theeee mossstt difficult one.. but im sure you’re strong enaf to go thru dat. remember, Allah takkan uji hamba Dia dgn something yg He knows you couldn’t overcome. you deserve so much better. SO SO SO much better. and I love you.

“Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend. What’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not - won’t. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and not lose something real. Always fight, until you can’t anymore, and then be fought for.”

 

ok. so pengajaran utk hari ini is..

maliza sile jgn open up sgt. you dont want to get attached. cos you’re just gonna end up gettin hurt okay?

REMEMBER THE PAIN. REMEMBER.

omg this band is awesome!! at least for me they are.

anyone ? pleaseee, get me their cd!!

please. hear them out on the second track. ELOISE - MAYBE

I LIKE!!

I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!!

Greetings! its a second quickie post I guess? cos I dont have much time updating but I have to jugak since I skip posting for the last two days. So hopefully everyones doing great as usual. Harini baru abis test ResearchMethodology. Em. no comment. sakit hati pk. haha. zzz

So I change my country-like song to Pitbull song sbb nk ilangkan tension. Nicee beattt. hope ya like it as much as I do. hahaha.

Ade byk gile assignments yg duedate minggu ni, ARGH. ni akibat wat keje last minute. LOL. but actually byk je yg da siap, cume tinggal nk print report and send, our presentation was okayy. Aku lupe lak nk suh class vote for turn utk RM presentation.  kalau aku xdpt balik pun,its okay, mama would understand. and aku just kene btahan lagi sbulan je. kejap je sbenanye tu :] nt balik makan la MCD smpai tmuntah2 k maliza!

Had a terrible fight with someone and I think its about time. So kali ni kalau aku da wat keputusan, I should not lembut hati. Im sorry kalau u rase I ni mean. I had to. trust me its the best for both of us…

Last saturday kitorang pegi sewe kete and pegi cari rumah sewe. pagi2 tu siapkan video Arab dulu. HAHA. demm funny. and OMG! i look so terribly fat dlm video. shitmenn. ketare gile lemak2 kt perot. shit shit!! rase nk bunuh diri everytime they keep on replaying the video.

abah suh active balik sukan. cmne? aku tableh active kalau aku x minat sukan tu. the only sport yg aku active dulu is merentas dese and kayak and badminton. sume tu yg aku minat. kalau x minat aku wat kejap2 je.

u gotta do something maliza. before its too late..

*okay! cuti sem nanti!*

Rabu ade Arab’s oral test and Khamis ade public speaking. zzz

bebelit2 dah mulut aku cite sal egyptian funeral practices.  and aku baru taw the right way of pronouncing PHARAOH . aku sebut ‘Feroh’ tp miss ckp salah. the right pronounciation is ‘Feria’ which is kinda weird. tp sbb die bagi markah. ok. Feria it is. :|

so ade chance utk improve my pronunciation. yeh! ade hikmah nape bukan turn aku last week. byk nk kene btulkan sbenanye.

Aritu ade org tego aku. die kate, aku ni atas besa tapi kaki kecik. mane tak nye. dok sini bekilo2meter aku bjalan. kaki mmg sume ade muscle. no seriously! kt betis tu keras gile. hahaha.

mcm kaki laki. ok mybe x. but it felt mcm tu.

oh conclusion pegi visit rumah sewe tu. ade 2 buah kot ktorang gi, satu tu depan umah tu ade kubor cine. LOL. well i honestly dun mind, tp bile blakang die ade pokok getah mcm utan, yg tu aku x suke. takut ade wildddd animalss u know. pastu ade lagi satu umah. OMG. mmg besa gilee. lebih 15 org pun bleh tampung. rumah kg 2 tingkat. mmg hugeee. kalau duk 5 org seriously creepy la. sbb die ade byk bilik. tp aku rase okay je duk ramai2, sbb die luas, x la mcm crowded. plus the owner mcm baik gileee. siap ajak ktorang gi umah die kt Baling, mandi air panas, and even ajak sleepover sane. WOW

aku terus tertarik ngn layanan mesre tu. tp on of my friend plak tanak..plus parent die x bagi pun..takut ade penunggu kt sane. sbb rumah tu besa, tade org duk lame da. oh aku x tpk pun pasal tu mule2 sbb excited sgt, but okay. aku x kesah pun, ikut majority. aku pun bukan berani sgt, tp abah pesan jgn takut sbb bende tu makan takut kite, plus, tade ape bleh wat pape kt kite, tanpe izin Allah. true2. just dont start imagining things la okay..biase la tu mainan perasaan kan. so okay. aku rase ade je rumah sewe, mungkin tis time bukan rezeki ktorang kot.

okay. i guess thats all. time kasih kerane telah membuang mase berharge anda bace post sy yg merapu2 and a total waste of time ni :P

ciom skit!

its not really as bad as the picture showed laa. lepas kemas nt okay kott

:D

Im confuse when it comes to differentiating the act of menjaga hati org and at the same time being honest. I never expect it to be easy though. but wat makes it even harder is that when the person seems mcm x bother to understand.

thats kinda heartbreaking..

you know I never force you to stay kan? YOU KNEW that cos Ive told you before. even yea, I admit I love having you around. but pleaseeee. don’t force me to balas that. I never promised you anything pun except that I will try. I said I will and I am trying!

so, if you have to question EVERY single words that Ive written here, dlm my OWN blog, whats the use of having one? Im sorry but I can never tell you EVERYTHING. not like I dont want to. Id love to share everything. cume ade certain bende tu tat I feel mcm, you really dont want to know. why? sbb bile you do find out. jadi camni la. there are some of the things yg I dont want to remember, but you pun tataw I can never erase that macam tu je no matter how hard I tried kan? So what I can do is just faking it. acting like ive forgotten everything. mcm sume tu doesnt matter nemore. But U KNEW tats not true.

I cant be happy and bubbly all the time. sape yg tanak happy? so once a while, ade mase tu akan datang when Im just gonna feel so sadd, and rase down gile. I dont expect you to stripdance to entertain me, just could you please at least try to understand a lil bit??

:[

I cant please everyone but I’ll try though.

there are reasons why I cant trust you that much. I think you know why. its not just bout you la. mostly its just me and the thoughts inside my huge head. mostly its about me.

but I am disappointed..

you are gonna make the same mistakes mcm yg org lain buat..

you shud prove me wrong. tp u just proved that sume org tu same je..

sooooooooo

Im officially tiredd. exhausted.

bleh tak I tanak kesah?? I just wanna go to bedd and tido lene and besok siapkan all my assignments.

If you dont want to talk to me anymore. okay dats fine. I know tat sooner or later I gotta get used with not having you around jugak.

just so you know, I’m not gonna beg anymore. I’m not gonna look for you, not gonna wait until u dah rase bosan and cari I. I’m not gonna wait. and you can do anything you want.

once a while I feel so bad and I even hate myself for how Ive treated people around me. bukan macam I never tell you how I feel. I dont want to be mean, so please dont make me. Ive told you everything very expressively kott. I thought you understand. well I guess I thought wrong la kan?

and please jgn cakap sorry. you did nothing wrong. even ade pun im sure you tataw ape salah u buat kan? cos you just cakap sorry and expect I will accept tat and tats it! sume setel! wat the fuck that sorry for if you keep repeating the same mistake?

if I am that cerewet, I’m sorry. thats just me. Im not perfect, and could never be one no matter how hard I tried. Im sorry for all my flaws and my selfishness. I really am. Please, dont feel reluctant to stay if you dont want to. aku pun tanak bebankan sape2.

okay!

puas.

nk tido dah. byebye :]

Sorry that I couldn’t tell you all this right at your face cos I know the words can never kuar perfectly. LOL. I dont to say the wrong things and nanti sume jadi makin teruk. hmm.

Greetings everyone,

hope ya guys doin fine! :]

Things went pretty normal today. Besides klas QMT tade. which kitorang dah pegi baru taw klas tade. kinda suck cos I cud really make full use of that time to sleep a lil bit longer. So sleepy tat I tink semalam is one the hari yg aku tidur lene sgt..Im not sure why I felt so tired. tade la buat pape sgt pun. LOL. probably its just the brain kot yg penat. hahaha.

So its my birthday today. So i supposed, YAY???

I purposely hid my birthdate kt facebook for Im not sure what reasons? Lupe plak. Neway, thanks to those who remember.Really. I kinda expected already that YOU would remember. so thank you.

Anyway this is my first birthday away from Mama and Abah. and my first birthday alone. I think I can get used to tis :]

Well as the time passes by, I gets older. I dont have much enthusiasm to celebrate birthdays anymore. Actually, I dont really like my birthday. I dunno why. Aku just nk hari tu berlalu cepat….

Abah bank in duit birthday I called it. HAHA. rm60 . thank you Abah! haha. aku dapat free call for today. So I called Mama, sembang lame2 skit. Oh I miss you so much. lame x denga mama gelak, rase mcm tharu plak tibe2.

OH and I called Isa too. haha. budak yg salah date birthday aku smpai 2 hari bturut2. die plak excited lebey :P

I wanted to call Naguto which aku rase mcm aku dah menyesal sbb x call. haha. just that aku merajok ngn die. siap ngadu kt mama, hahaha. mama ckp, ‘alah..die kan sibuk tu. skang time2 org nk exam, quiz sume lagi....’ Ye ma, I know that. So x marah da. tp she definitely kene banje nandos nanti :P

Em. everythings fine so far. Abit risau pasal BAB(ARAB), so hopefully lulus. Em, Gotta work my ass off for QMT. I cant wait to balik rumah. Oh rindu everything  :[

So… yeah. spend my whole evening tido je. LOL. so tats it! nuttin much. My ulser gettin better. besa gile k. takut nk tgk. haha. pedih skit2 je, nk makan pedas susa skit. tp aku tabahkan diri gak.

Plan for tomorrow is pegi cari umah sewe and finish the BAB video. God give me the strength and will utk gunekan hari besok spenuh2nye. amin..

Harapan aku utk birthday kali ni. Hm..

I wanna be a better person for you. I do. Bukan sbb tu je, but because I wanted to. Hm. I wanna be a better daughter jugak. Nak spend time lebih with family, just love everyone, love myself *kinda susah with this heavy fat hanging but ill try*, semoge sume kawan2 study kuat2 and lulus cemerlang. amin.

ps/ found the onions emoticon balik, and how you like my new layout??

hello peeps! its just gonna be a quick update okay. Today has been hectic, I am exhausted. I think I even hurt few of my close friends’ feelin cos I’m too tired to think much so I just blurted things out.

Im sorry my friends. If harini prangai aku mcm ape ntah. Please believe me that whatever it is, I didnt mean it.

:[

Em. okay tayah cite too detail on that. anyway post hari ni bertitle Quickie sbb lepas ni aku nk wujudkan satu tag called quickie. its gonna be the composition of all of my so called quick posts! Apekah itu quick post? hahaha. ntah. yg aku rase aku nk cite cpt2 and pendek2. okay tu kire quick post la k?

Ape jadi harini?

Em. tade pape mnarik. cume aku bape kali gi berak sbb sakit perut. pelik. satu bilik sakit perut arini. but staw aku ktorang mane ade makan bende yg same. hmm!

Anyway Alhamdulillah bukan la serious even ade la dlm 4 kali gak aku berak. Test Arab da lepas. muke aku cmne mase jawab? hahaha. penuh KEBLURAN and TENANG. sbb aku tiru Eija je. :|

Arabic language is never the choice of my 3rd language. kalaulah aku bleh plih, Id like to study Russian. hm. tp sume ni dah di fate kan bak kate someone. LOL so im just gonna embrace the experiences la okay? hehe. its been funy learning arabic sbb I havent fail any of the level yet. ade 3 level. sem ni la sem last amek Arab tu. haha.

OH! klas harini agak pack. ade 5class. dr pagi smpai kul 10pm. and klas start kul 8pm tu klas HRM, and kitorang ade presentation. mase time nk present, dgn confidentnye cari file kt pendrive and SHIT! it wasnt there! haha. slides tu tade kt pendrive aku. zzzz

kecoh kejap disitu sbb aku tekad nk balik amek jugak. OMG JAUH GILE. tapi thank god, time kasih sgt2 kt FARAH NADIA RAMLI sbb kindly offered nk drive us back to hostel utk amek slides dlm lappy ak.

:’[

God bless youu my friend!

so berakhirla 1 presentation. tinggal RM, ARAB, OSHA.

oh next week is gonna be chaos. sbb ade 4 exams berturut2 . tp tape. pk postive  maliza! minggu depan nk balik dah!

please please. aku harap my presentation sume dpt abes next week tu jugak. hari isnin depan akan ade voting session utk who present dulu and harap2 aku antare group yg awal sbb i cudnt afford to stay during study week. NOOOOO!!!!

OKAY i think this post is too long for a quickie but nvm. im gonna make an exception for this one ok!

:]

harap2 dpt do the presentation besok for bel. oh penantian tu mmg sgt2 menyeksekan okay.

Wanted to text you so bad but then it might look really obvious. I hope you’re thinking of me. even for a sec. adekah possible that you are missing me now?? pleasee think of me. please?? *sambil anta psikik signals*

~~

ok bye!

who are you fooling maliza?

thinking this time it would be different??

mestila tak!

it wont happen k. dont forget tat!

and stop messing ur head with the stupid thoughts!!

cis. harapan palsu!

he make me want to love again tp lepas tu die lepas tgn?

hahaha

tpakse aku wastekan love aku kt org yg lebih memerlukan.

which is me myself, yg sgt starvingg to be loved.

*ok dah sounded so desperate

maybe i should be in love with me. and make love to myself?
hahaha?

omg

tats so retarded :|

jgn obvious sgt k maliza.

da la mmg kawan x ramai. nt ilang cmtu je. haha

clearyly i miss naguto so much.

hmm

siti nur najat radzuan!!

i misssss you!!

denga tak??

;[

okay good night ~

Another week to go before balik for study week :] It felt just like yesterday that aku merungut sbb ade lagi sbulan baru dpt cuti. LOL see how cepat the time jalan kan? nanti taw2 je umur aku da 28. OMG

Im sure raya taun depan sdare tanye bile nk kawen. sbb taun ni da ade bunyi2 cmtu. demm i hate tat. bleh x jgn amek taw? just let me be la okay. ade, ade la. tade, dont bother!

despite the fact tat of course la sume mak bapak nk anak die kawen and all *whyth im talking bout tis stuff!!*, aku ttp rase, kalau tade pun, im okay. bleh duk bawah ktiak mama lame2 skit. i dont mind. dats the best place to be at *or under* anyway kan? people dont get younger. so mase2 dewase aku, aku nk spend time manjekan mama and abah. that probably means keje kuat gile, naik pangkat, and gi haji same2. WOW!

LONELY? yes. prasaan tu still ade. I have few close friends around. and I AM happy. but tats just bout it. aku happy je. tp you know. the passion. the smgt? they’re not there anymore. aku okay je. tp tu la die. just OKAY. x GREAT pun. hmm. I feel so incomplete!

someone asked ‘are you remembering things again?’

LOL. how could I ever forget?? sbb bende yg paling nk lupe tu la yg TAKKAN dpt dilupe. how tragic life is. but thats just everything bout life la. life is a beautiful mess. btul x? *influenced by tumblr*

but I think Im used to that already.

the pain is still there and doesnt show signs of leaving*or hilang. but nevermind. Ill try to embrace that. Embrace the pain as part of growing up.

the only way to climb back up is by falling down la kan? you dont fall nk climb ape jadah. zzz

anyway UGH. sakitnye mate tgk layout blog ni. Ive been trying to find the one website that I love, ade sume pasal tutorials. tp x jumpe dah. and disebabkan time constraint. aku tpakse stop searching and I guess tepakse la tunggu je cuti sem nanti baru aku edit okay?

and rasenye besok nk puase kot. aku just bleh kuakan lagi rm50 je kalau aku nk bsukerie cuti nanti. rm50 utk 2minggu. I CAN DO THIS!!

Its possible sbenanye. cume aku akan lapa like hell and balik nanti mesti makan like a pig. haha. tape tape. itu sume pengorbanan. you cant always get what you want right?

but Alhamdulillah. Most of my part punye assignments dah siap. I hope org lain pun wat keje masing2. I hate to screw things up between anyone, but, please remember that EVERYONE pun busy, EVERYONE pun ade keje and EVERYONE pun ade life masing2. I honestly think that aku fair dlm bagi keje. at least thats how I feel bout me. nk kate aku berat sbelah. nape tade sape ckp pape? hmm.

Im trying to be fair. Im trying to help everyone. tp aku pun bukannye sentiase btul, mane2 ade kekurangan, sila speak out. aku cube mengamalkan transformational leadership style disini. so harap beri kerjasama okay!

I love you all :]

okay im so friggin sleepy rite now tapi tpakse gak kumpul kekuatan utk at least. AT LEASTTTTTT publish jugak a post today.

keje HR almost siap. tinggal RM andddd study for QMT??

shitmen!!

QMT.

….

pls. tnk pk k?

mcm biase. aku nampak kabur2 lg mase depan aku. hmm

wth am i doin!!! dulu smgt je mase baru2 nk masok. em.

>.<

ohhh.

kesian die aku layan mcm tu. im soo sorry. I had to okay. I really had to. mane ade aku change mcm yg ko ckp tu.. at least I think I havent change?? kalau brat btambah ye. zzz. tat double chin!! kalau la aku byk duit. argh ok abaikan.

em. things are different skit now. I know you missed the old us kan. I missed it too. tapitapi. things could neverrr jdi balik mcm dulu if U know what i mean. >.<

Ive been wanting to text you byk kali da. tade pape nk ckp pun. just wondering how u doin skang ni and all. tp ntah?

haha. omgg

aku dpt rasekan aku akan menyesal nt. but i dont have the courage now..

and things are moreee complicated than it may seems. Im really sorry that things turn out mcm ni..

Ive been a little bit selfish and tu antare salah satu bende yg aku nk ubah. but gimme time okay? I cant change overnight..

Duit da masuk. tp taleh enjoy. sbb tibe2 aku baru tringat aku kene ganti enpon Sidah. dem..

>.<

da 2 ari x mkn nasik. oh i miss ayam kt gerai Orange tu… and the kuah sambal banjir2. emm.

besok nk mkn nasik!!

beli biskot satu tin besa, rm 13.90, tp aku mkn same mcm makan nasik. cmne tu?

baik aku bli nasik. zzz

oh video Arab. arghh. but luckily script dah ade. reuse balik script arab mase sem 3 dulu. HAHA. thanks to amira ktorang xyah brainstorm reke2 dialogue. oh itu amat memeritkan. dr sem 1 kot blaja arab. aku cume paham KAIFA HALUKA? ANA BIHOIRR~ pastu LAAA!!! and NA’AM!!

pastu MAT’AM je satu2 bende yg aku mmg takkan lupe sbb tu tempat kegemaran aku ngn naguto. oh rindu kt naguto. :(

*mat’am= cafe=ayam=makan

oh im so lapa..

:(

sorry. nk cepat tido sbb lapa sgt. nt aku mkn megi :|

no no. arini da mkan speket!!

ok bye!!

signature akan dibuat scpt mungkin. er. maybe cuti sem nt? sbb kene install potoshop dulu. bye!

tajuk ni maybe tade kene mengene sgt ngn topic yg aku nk luahkan harini. hahaha. zzz

okay cite dr smlm. sbb smlm ade bende yg agak unik telah tjadi dlm hidup aku yg extremely bosan ni. zzz

okay. i was on my way nk mengemas2 bilik yg penuh ngn rambut sape ntah. pastu tibe2 Jem panggil aku. die tgh men amek2 gmba gune webcam. ahhaha. ape lagi aku yg gedik ni pun join la. zzz.

pastu cmne ntah. oh lupe nk ckp. lappy die baru. so dlm tu ade mcm sofware yg wat muke org jadi klaka? mcm petak2 ade, bulat2 ade. ahhahahahahaha. omg. tringat balik rase klaka gile. so ktorang pose2 ngn muke klaka tu. and aku gelak gile babai mmg sumpah x igt dunie. seriously. da la x tutup pintu. hnestly aku x expect la aku gelak kuat cmtu. smpai staff kolej ni jerit2 ‘bilik 108 turun skang!!’

i was like. wth? omgg. aku gelak kuat !!

so turun lah kami dgn malu2 kucing and muke bersalah sgt2. and omg. i was so stupid. sbb aku panic gile, aku x kesah pasal nk grab tudung. zzz. ok abaikan. itu takkan tjadi lagi.

lepas tu. kene slow talk. bla234. ok aku dpt rasekan ade diskriminasi disini. sbb sblom ni ade blik mane ntah. kt tingkat 1 pnah wat hal. so sbbkan nila setitik, rosak susu sbelange. demm! i hate the feeling being judged padahal die x kenal aku lansong.die ckp, sy tawla awk tu budak degree, tp tu bukan alasan utk awak wat pape awk suke.

wth? wheres that coming from? tibe2 je dibeze2kan camtu. sob2. oh~ so offended ok.

pastu die tnye ape yg ktorang gelakkan sgt tu. sbenanye soklan tu lebih pade aku sorang je. sbb aku je yg gelak mcm x igt dunie. zzz.sian Sidah yg baru je dtg, tibe2 kene turun skali. hahaha.

trust me, kalau korang tgk gmba tu, mesti gelak mcm aku gak!!

oh ignore the crazy hair. ok aku admit, aku nampak mcm org gile skit. zzz

so you tell me now. u laughin yet?

klaka kan kan?

so i guess its not really my fault la aku gelak gile2 pun. sbb we took like more than 15frames gmba2 alien ni k. so mmg lawak gile. hahahaha. zzz

and my QMT quiz suck gile. aku tkilan la. aku study la jugak. tp nape taleh jawab lagi. mmg lembab gile otak ak ni. i dunno what to do.

luckily die bagi chance kt ktorang, buat gerak gempur minggu depan. kalau dpt 35 and over. die akan topap kt assignment and kt quizzes and test aku yg teruk gile mcm x pnah blaja tu. hmm

:(

ksimpulannye porns akan tutup pintu hati anda dr menerime ilmu okay!

haha

renung2kan.

zzzzzzzzz

oh im so hungry. >.<

gotta ganti handphone Sidah dulu. hmmm

saba k! i will buy you a new one.