JustMarl

Im confuse when it comes to differentiating the act of menjaga hati org and at the same time being honest. I never expect it to be easy though. but wat makes it even harder is that when the person seems mcm x bother to understand.

thats kinda heartbreaking..

you know I never force you to stay kan? YOU KNEW that cos Ive told you before. even yea, I admit I love having you around. but pleaseeee. don’t force me to balas that. I never promised you anything pun except that I will try. I said I will and I am trying!

so, if you have to question EVERY single words that Ive written here, dlm my OWN blog, whats the use of having one? Im sorry but I can never tell you EVERYTHING. not like I dont want to. Id love to share everything. cume ade certain bende tu tat I feel mcm, you really dont want to know. why? sbb bile you do find out. jadi camni la. there are some of the things yg I dont want to remember, but you pun tataw I can never erase that macam tu je no matter how hard I tried kan? So what I can do is just faking it. acting like ive forgotten everything. mcm sume tu doesnt matter nemore. But U KNEW tats not true.

I cant be happy and bubbly all the time. sape yg tanak happy? so once a while, ade mase tu akan datang when Im just gonna feel so sadd, and rase down gile. I dont expect you to stripdance to entertain me, just could you please at least try to understand a lil bit??

:[

I cant please everyone but I’ll try though.

there are reasons why I cant trust you that much. I think you know why. its not just bout you la. mostly its just me and the thoughts inside my huge head. mostly its about me.

but I am disappointed..

you are gonna make the same mistakes mcm yg org lain buat..

you shud prove me wrong. tp u just proved that sume org tu same je..

sooooooooo

Im officially tiredd. exhausted.

bleh tak I tanak kesah?? I just wanna go to bedd and tido lene and besok siapkan all my assignments.

If you dont want to talk to me anymore. okay dats fine. I know tat sooner or later I gotta get used with not having you around jugak.

just so you know, I’m not gonna beg anymore. I’m not gonna look for you, not gonna wait until u dah rase bosan and cari I. I’m not gonna wait. and you can do anything you want.

once a while I feel so bad and I even hate myself for how Ive treated people around me. bukan macam I never tell you how I feel. I dont want to be mean, so please dont make me. Ive told you everything very expressively kott. I thought you understand. well I guess I thought wrong la kan?

and please jgn cakap sorry. you did nothing wrong. even ade pun im sure you tataw ape salah u buat kan? cos you just cakap sorry and expect I will accept tat and tats it! sume setel! wat the fuck that sorry for if you keep repeating the same mistake?

if I am that cerewet, I’m sorry. thats just me. Im not perfect, and could never be one no matter how hard I tried. Im sorry for all my flaws and my selfishness. I really am. Please, dont feel reluctant to stay if you dont want to. aku pun tanak bebankan sape2.

okay!

puas.

nk tido dah. byebye :]

Sorry that I couldn’t tell you all this right at your face cos I know the words can never kuar perfectly. LOL. I dont to say the wrong things and nanti sume jadi makin teruk. hmm.