JustMarl

its day 2 of puasa ganti. hari kedue jugak hati aku kene lenyek2.

adekah aku akan jadi lebih kuat kalau berjaye survive lenyekan ni lagi beberape hari?

yes. I can. positive outcomes only

tapi buat mase ni.. aku decide utk biarkan hati aku sakit. just let it go through. aku tanak tahan, aku tanak pure2 kuat. sbb aku x kuat lansung..

tapi..smoge … em. I ran out of good wishes. haha.  cant think of any at all >.<

tataw lah smoge ape.

Mama called semalam, dah x demam katennye. tapi batuk ade lagi. Alhamdulillah. terima kasih Allah sbb dengar doa aku.

aku bkn sakit sorang, sbb ade org lagi sakit dr aku. and aku rase maaf x cukup.

aku pun tataw nk watpe. kalau aku ikut je ckp die. maknenye aku lagi kejam. sbb biar die hidup ngn harapan2 palsu tu padahal aku taw aku akan ttp pergi lepas2 tu.

…

slepas mengambil kire ckp Allie.sbenanye sblum die ckp lagi aku da taw nk watpe. cume aku tade kekuatan utk actually do it. because I was lonely myself..

that’s selfish.

aku yg sbbkan masala ni. nape nk drag innocent someone with me?

I just wish I was stronger before everything went this far. this serious.

its okay maliza. u have tried. u know u have. u have begged, ugut? haha. sume bende keji and jijik aku dah buat. still tade kesan. it means I should stop trying and turn around. andd………….

find someone to be blamed!

or. hadapi ketentuan ni.

well. I guess. all this pain. heartaches? sumenye. fated to be this way. okay

now aku sgt pasti. aku akan sambung Master. insyaAllah.

Test 2 on Friday. haih. sgt lah malas nk bace buku. padahal kelas 2 jam je tiap ari. hm.

mama, rindu ikan keli asam pedas mama

rindu sore abah balik umah lepas magrib. penat tp try jugak tunjuk muke happy.

Allah please give me the chances utk jage dorang. bagi aku pluang tu. Amin.

its not easy, nk hadapi sume ni, with Tia around. because I cant let my tears fall. I cant show my sad face.

takkan aku nk nanges dlm blik air tiap masee. pelik lak mandi lame2. kerap lak tu!

bilik tade kipas. aku akan menangis kepanasan. nk nanges pun ade tempat2 tertentu je k.. kene slese!

so.. rasenye aku tade pape utang so far.. aku dah confess kt those I made mistakes at.. Ive done everything I thought could fix things. tinggal tgk aku dimaafkan ke x.. lain2 aku bserah okay.

harini urusan aku dipermudahkan Allah. Dia sntiase mendengar.

Maliza. kalau tanak dilupekan. jgn lupekan Dia jugak k.

kuat skit! positive outcomes only!

ill take risks. ill be back on my 2 feet. cos its not like I lose everything. JUST hati je kannn. dengan soul. tapi I have mama and abah around. their faith and hopes in me. okay.

get it boss!