JustMarl

its 7.00AM and I still have not slept. WHHHHHHH AAAAATTT??!!!

…

Done updating Lolly’s. Hm. Kinda satisfied with Chef Al Khairi’s blog. haha. even just copy paste html. Taught lalat how to use this cool windows live writer. and it seems mcm she already get the hang of it. andd yeah. so every updates kt chef’s blog, sume lalat yg wat. hehe.

tetibe aku dah terorder 4cups of chicken pie. WHHHHHHHHHHHATTTTTTTTTT?!!!

pagi2 ni slere lain macam. aku mmg lapa dr tgh mlm bute tadi :[

kesian i.

this week and next week aku akan busy. i need to do lotsss of preparation for the next sem plak. dah nk dekat ni. gotta pack my bag and plan on what stuff to bring nanti. mama pun kene adjust cuti sume. my ic belum siap. gotta make sure minggu ni gak siap. and my maybank card. and bimb online banking. and maybank2u pun nk kene wat. hmm.

baddebt pun ade byk. aku hutang beberape org. omg. kalau mati dlm mase ni komfem x diterime bumi.

:|

so maliza. dont die now pls.

okay.

arap2 aku igt nk baya. wey! kalo korang igt, pls igtkan aku k. aku kadang2 lupe.kadang2 aku blakon lupe spaye xyah baya sbb aku taw korang pun lupe. wkakakak.

mate aku pedih. tp my brain lagi sakit. mcm bengkak. cmne aku nk stop drinking coffee. its in my vein already. caffeine is part of me. wuwuwuwuuu. i dont want to let go. not yet!

but I can feel that something isn’t right with my liver. maybe liver. maybe usus. aku x sure. tp sakit around situ. and past few days, sistem pencernaan aku mcm teruk gile. i wonder if its because of what i eat? aku rase. coffee consumption still the same dr balik arau tu. around 3-4mugs per day. tp salunye x sampai la 4. 3 je. haha.

zzzz. okay xyah bebel.

bilik pun dah kemas.

Im not sure why. aku asik rase mcm, my time dah nk dekat. maybe not dat dekat. tp I kinda senses that its gonna be me 1st. adekah sbb aku selalu mengharapkan mati?? atau, sbb aku terlampau rindu? atau, just sbb aku selalu teringatkan mati. hmm. igtkan mati is good. tp igt but do nothing bout it. BAD BAD.

harini and smlm and besok maybe. aku akan lagi teringatkan mati. sbb one of my college friend meninggal sbb accident.. Innalillah pade arwah. bulan ni dah 2 org yg aku kenal pergi. so, tade lah weird kalau aku rase dekat sgt ngn mati tu..

just that.. Im not ready. Ya Allah. I’m not ready. I promised Mama and Abah byk sgt. please please. at least, biarla aku sempat jage dorang.

give me that chance. I probably wont be happy doing anything selain tunaikan janji2 aku kt dorang. em. hanye Kau yg Maha Mengetahui…

… alangkah tragicnye kalau mati mase tgh surf *orns.

:|

em. sntiase beringat mati ye kawan2.. aku pun harap aku x cepat lupe..

oh nampak mcm ramai member2 dpt Arau. hehe. Welcome! and yg still x sure nk accept ke x, pk baik2 k.. kalau leh, accept jela..ade hikmah nape jauh2! hihihi

Since my life is so pathetic and I have to pay my friends to go watch movies with me, soooooooo I decided, hey why waste money! jom tgk online~! haha. okay just kidding. my friends are awesome. just that, we need time for family jugak sometimes kann.

Gosh Im not sure what has gotten into me this past few days. but I definitely nott feeling well. especially my jinggling tummy. asik sakit je. ak makan pe je? okay maybe sbb mlm smlm makan jambu batu with lotsss of kuah rojak yg bau je pun dah taw die buh belacan banyak gile. plus lapa lagi, so masak megi with extra2 serbuk cili tp x habis pun. sbb kenyang buah. maybe that campuran buat aku sakit perut kul 6pagi. haih. kul 6 da busy meneran and tido2, mmg terus pengsan smpai 2.30PM.

and omg. not sure if this clothing and bags business btul2 seswai ngn aku. why? cos it turn out aku yg beli sume! warghhh

aku baru pasan kt website supplier yg baju aku smpai arini x smpai2 tu, die ckp baju took 3-5weeks. FIVEEEEEEEE FREAKINN WEEKSSS.

so aku taleh mara dulu. aku kene saba lagi sminggu baru cukup 5minggu. kalau x smpai gak, thennn baru aku bleh saman.

hmmm

minggu depan MAYBE akan pergi Broga lagi. hehehe. and Im gonna go for a date with Jake! yeay! die banje sume. wahahahahhaha

I have a surprise for him. and hopefully baju da smpai by then. pls!!!

PS/ De Lolly’s Apparel and Chef Al- Khairi’s links are placed inline with my other links. Please visit yaa. x beli pun tape. hehe.

but my honest opinion bout Abg Lalat’s cake *or known as Chef Al-Khairi* is, cake die mmg sedap. personally one of my fav is double-choc cheesecake dy. serious shit. nk nanges mkn cake with the choc melting in ur mouth. wuuu. at least u gotta give it a try la k :]

4:17AM.

Still couldnt sleep. AS USUAL.

had too much caffeine.

and doing too much thinking.

headache.

heartache.

aku baru prasan.. bile mood aku mcm tak menentu for couple of days tibe2. so does my sistem pencernaan. da lame x berak. :|

and thats unusual memandangkan aku berak ari2.

woke up at 12:30PM kot. tu pun Lalat call? *or was it kelmarin?*

oh god. lame sgt tido aku mcm tak keep track harini hari pe. cepatnye dah Thursday!

zzzzzzzzzz..

IC blom settle.

Saman pun same.

malas tetibe.

hah!! at least blog Abg Lalat tu da siap

pasni kalau dy tanye sal blog, bleh la aku jwb dgn banggenye. tp x dpt tunjuk kehebatan skill aku main html sbb pale aku mcm dizzy plus perut mcm x hadam. so tu sume effect mood aku.

hahahaha. okay bab reke alasan aku mmg agak genius.

Alhamdulillah. business still ade even slow as siputs. tp tapelah. aku x rushing pun.

tp agak bengang baju aku x smpai2 lagi. hish!

Aku dah x igt bile.. sbb turn out org salu text aku mcm at crazy morning like 4AM, or mase kul 10AM, which definitely aku x bgn lagi. and aku mmg salu tersedar and bace. tp pastu tido and bile bgn, x igt pape.

took me mcm besoknye utk terperasan ade org msg aku. haha. and Nuar did. die suh ‘aku’ bitaw Maliza yg dy nak jumpe Maliza sgt2.

Keputusan aku skang akan ubah sgale2nye. aku pun tataw samede aku patut jumpe dy ke x.

kadang2 rase mcm xnk jumpe.. bkn pe.. lagi bagus aku x involved dlm idup dy sgt… It’d be easy for him.

tp sometimes rase mcm, maybe he deserve that meeting memandangkan dy NAMPAK mcm dah tunggu lame. and still holding on. maybe he shud be paid for the effort. plus Im sure he wont stay lepas jumpe. haha.

At times aku rase mcm, I need to talk to someone. I know some of my friends would always be there for me. tp aku rase mcm segan. WHY?

sbb…………smpai skang pun aku x rase Im not being a good friend. or maybe not good enough.

Got a call from a friend tadi. Cite pasal personal matters. I mean. aku mcm glad, and tharu sbb die cari aku. *tharu sbb I dont get much of that kind of calls nemore* and x kesah la kalau aku plihan dy yg ke 19 ke ape *don’t mind as long as she wouldnt tell me.haha*, and I really tried my very best, to listen and paham and mcm bagi the most honest answers or advices yg aku bleh bagi. well, obviously I cant give any advices on relationships cos I suckss in that. tapi, I’m being pretty honest pasal the possible options that she might have and like help contributing several views on how to see the situation.

not sure if Im being helpful. well I hope I am…

She deserves so much better… and harap2 die buat keputusan yg betul and I just want her to be happy…

He shouldve not treat her that way. and I believe that he will be sorry.

tp mase tu, too late dah.

Had terrible dreams this few days..

I just cant wait to move to Sepang and live a new life. Probably I’ll be living a new life with that old past. still.

Oh how sometimes I wish aku kene langgar kete and hilang ingatan. that’d be easier for me.

err.. tp aku tnk lupe mama abah and few friends. hahaha. arghh! nape taleh control sindri! i want to choose what to be remembered and what to be erased.

well the harsh fact is that, mende yg salu nk lupe and yg u put soo much effort , cube nk lupe tu la yg mmg takkan bleh lupe. haha. Tragic.

well.. at the end. aku ttp besyukur. aku rase.. aku dapat ape aku nak. maybe aku bukanla superwoman or, maybe x penting dlm hidup kebanyakan org, tp… I still have Mama and Abah. and trust me. they spoiled me enaffffffffffff~

I want them to stay with me forever. bleh x?

ouh I tink Ive told you that I met Iqa last time, mase preconvo. hehe.macam biase, shes lookin all great, preettyy and tall of course! and shes still the same Iqa that I knew. Bubbly and sweet and murah ngn snyuman~

*sorry baru nk update now. Im pretty occupied with.. many things yg ditangguh2 sbb tu just now baru mcm tringt >.<

tapi mase the real convo x sempat jumpe.. sorry iqa… my parent mcm nk balik sbb tired tunggu lame plus it was raining mase tu >.< nk bgamba kt lua pun taleh..

LUCKILY sempat amek gmba with you! :]

haha. taleh amek gmba diri cos then it’d be toooooo obvious!!

but babe, you’re still my childhood bestfriend! >.<

maybe we just dont do much talking now.. but im sure mase jumpe, kite x awkward lansong kan kan? :]

i miss you already!

and i miss Syaqreena. wondering hows she doin now. hmmm.

and Aida of course.. I hope they’re alll fine, guarded and blessed. amin..

:]

we’re gonna catch up someday ya? and amek gmba bykkkkkkkkkkkkkk2!!

PS/ iqa! thank you sbb edit kan gmba. hehe. i know i dont look that good! tp u make me comel gila~ *omg prasan nk mati ok bye*