JustMarl

its been quite a while since I last updated. tade la busy mane pun. ntah la. lately aku rase mcm mase tu berjalan wayy toooo cepat. aku mcm nk buat sume bende, tapi mase tu nampak mcm x cukup sgt2. aku berak je da bape lame da. mcm rase bende tak penting mcm berak tu patut tolak tepi dulu. kalau la bleh kan. muahhaa

aritu dpt makan durian. lepas magrib tadi aku baru smpai Putrajaya, balik kg since Ahad lepas.now listening to Natalia Kills since I could not sleep. I tried. tp ntah. maybe cos of that late nite iced coffee. kt uma nenek byk sgt kucing. haha. ee geram. comel yg kecik2 tu, yg tua, dah tua sgt smpai tido mcm tanak bgn2. pmalas!

its still hurt at times kalau terpk. but rasenye im better at handling it now and yep. pretty proud of myself! aritu tlg jage gerai cake Abang Ayie. unfortunately hari tu sales x brape nk mantap. tp time kasih Abang Ayie sbb bagi gak duit upah. hehe. and aku dpt kerje kt InternationalMarchingBands tu. ttaw how its gonna turn out. harap2 not too tiring. and harap2nye everything went well. I could really use some cash right now.

lutut lebam. tataw  nape

byk terlanggar bende lately. so mcm luke and lebam merate2. skarang mcm dah tak kesah pape sgt. sbb ade byk sgt bende penting tak terbuat2.

hmmmmmmmmm

Mama and Abah been a good supporter lately. sgt2 membantu. and aku sgt2 berterime kasih. so harap2nye sume went well. cos I really really need this to work out badly. I wont give up. until aku dpt buat ape aku nak.

I miss my friends. I mean real friends lah. mcm dah lame tak catch up ngn they allsss. bukan tanak. tapi, really. rase mcm mase tu suntuknye lah! and rase mcm next time bole jumpe lagi kan kan. tp last2 sume org ade hal. and x dpt jumpe. waaaa

aku rase, abes blaja nanti, aku nk bele kucing or. an exotic pet. a snake gonna freak mama’s out. emmm. maybe something fluffy and kecik je kot. hamster? kecik sgt. argh. kucing jela senang. tgk kucing momel kt uma nenek. mcm syg plak tetibe. tu la. aku ni penyayang orgnye kan kan.

ade mase, aku rase menangis tu perlu kot. its not really that easy to act mcm everythings okay. with all those crappy things going on around you. the need to catch up and know everything that’s happening. at the same time nk get yourself together utk hadapi sume tu. bukan nk merungut.. I just wish if it could be less harder. sbb kadang2 mcm the pain is just unbearable.

I still have some of his presents, and love notes… and everytime tertgk. rase mcm ade needle cucuk my hati. haha. and not sure if I should throw them away. cos the last time I did, *threw Umpa away. aku rase rindu sgt. and menyesal

knowing that someone doesn’t care about you anymore, when you used to be their everything once. that’s mcm devastating sgt sgt. and example, Umpa, Umpa tu la antare bukti yg left for me, utk remind me yg, he once cared…

scary how people can get so mean,and cruel all of sudden. and changed, jadi someone we never expect them would become ..

well, life is a learning process kan?

I chose You, and my family over him.

so, dear Allah. I hope that counts. even maybe im in no position to ask for anything….

just that, if You are listening..

I just need some peace on my mind. and its not that I wish anyone would understand this, cos I know no one would ever could…

good night!