JustMarl

selepas berusaha selama sehari suntuk meneka username and password. akhirnye sy berjaya!! … this is so lame. turn out username and password is my blogger’s.
so this is my 1st post using WLW 2011 okengg. advancedd gituu. walaupun nk masuk 2012 da.

Kt Malaysia boleh tuka name x? kalau bleh, aku nk tuka name jadi Marl Ahmad. or Marleey Ahmad. because I don’t like being Normaliza anymore. nak jadi new person with new spirit! okay, bole je nk jadi new person without changing the name, tp saje, mcm symbolic la konon utk tunjuk ade blakunye pertukaran tersebut. zzz
well, harini aku dpt taw satu bende yg sgt2 menyayat hati. emm. ade la bende tu. yg buat aku tringat balik kenangan lame. x penting pun actually. tp bende tu buat hati aku sebak. so aku tpakse buat ape yg aku dah buat tu. sorry. korang penah jadi penting, but rasenye yall don’t treat me the same. so better aku stay away from you guys, that’s for the best ! pape pun, aku tetap doakan sume akan jadi manusie brgune, and happy je slalu. aku lupekan pape permusuhan lame, or dendam, just aku tanak diigtkan again, or tanak tsrempak dgn mereke2 itu lagi. that’s all im asking. insyaAllah, I’ll do fine..

besok ade 2 test. ok  bye! later kkk

Alhamdulillah. baru pas makan nasik. lauk keli. total RM3.50. tak tau ape yg ditotalkan cos aku ambik nasik ngn  keli je pong. hmmmm. sbb banjir ke? anyway. quick updates!! nk tiru style Isa, update ikut kategory? hehe.

Lappy.
Thank you to mama and Abah, dpt laptop baru da.got a neww Dell lappy! lovee itt.huhuu. senang skit wat keje and yg paling penting, online!mama dtg sabtu pagi, and balik ahad tgari. rinduu. pegi padang besaq smlm, sopping2 skitt.

Banjir
Arau dilande banjir lagi. for the 2nd time. not as bad as the first, luckily cume sehari yg tade air. org lain sume balik, kcuali aku. aku tumpang umah Aini and Pika.

Test. 
This is 2nd last week before cuti study week. x sabaaa nk balik! em, test 1 eco sgt teruk sbb 98% of the class FAILED. and quality pun cukup2 makan je. hmmmmm. no comment. so minggu ni akan dihujani test sbb aritu cuti banjir dari rabu smpai ahad, hari dimane aku spend mase aku dgn begitu membazir skali.

Assignments
so far okay je. tp ade beberape org jenis x buat keje, next sem korang leh cari group lain thank you!

WLW
my wlw is not working anymore. sedey. x suke post gune blogger punye editor ni. nk wlw gak. tp die kate username or password aku yg sala :[ maybe kene wat blog baru. AGAIN. we'll see, tade mase sgt nk pk tang tu lagi.

DeLolly
at last, batch terakhir bjalan lancar, even baju tersgt lambat smpai, customer sgt memahami and they lovedd itt. mase cuti baru sambung balik.

Rumah Sewe.
emm, maybe confirm pindah, hopefully dapat bawak kete dtg sini. wuuu.

Short Sem
sem ni sem prtame aku wat short sem. so harap2 everything went well. insyaAllah.

tak taw dah bape kali end. tp for sure this time, its for good. I am pretty sure that this IS exactly what I always wanted. you know, it is not easy to pretend that everythings okay and that you care when the truth is you don't. why? because i've spent this whole time with him thinking bout someone else. I know I know. Not one of the things that Im proud of. But this is the truth. My heart was not with him cos someone else has it.

harsh fact. But thats something I have to live with the whole life.

BUT, no fear.. I can live, knowing hes okay and that hes happy. well, I certainly not sure if he is still happy cos I never stalk cos I know it'll hurt me in the end. But last time I know, die mmg happy sgt..and I want to live knowing just that. =) and keep praying that we don't have to ever meet again. I like it this way.

Yes at times, I'd feel so lonely and get jealous of others yang seems sooooo damn happy and in love. aww. I miss that feeling...that rindu2 and acting cute whenever you're around him like manje2. haha.
okay one of the good times.

things are roughhh and hardd at first, but Im sure I'll get through this. cos Im the MAN!
com'on!! almost a year already. this is mcm a hugee achievement. even okay aku admit, aku still trying to avoid my old friends from Cheras... mmg selalu rase mcm Im such a bad bad bad friend and mmg patut la tak ramai kawan pun kan.. tapi... I just hope they understand that, its my way of protecting myself. I could simply block them, but I dont want to. because Im denying the fact that they are that important sampai aku kene block plak..tak mati pun kalau ternampak, cume it would be better kalau aku just tataw pape, and live with my ownnn last impressions of them.okay okay. mmg aku ego skit.. haha. well, Im not like certain people, yang boleh act like nothing happen when something DID happened. especially when that something meant the world to you. ah luckily aku tak depend kt thatt one world only. hehe. So boleh dikatekan aku agak bijak disitu . bwek. Im sure I did the right thing by leaving.. cume aku just terkilan je.. because it could turn out differently if only he tried harder..

and agak sedih because the last memory of me that he remember, mesti die igt aku yg gilekan duit ni. haih...
if only he knows that, its NOT what Ive been looking for. kalau ye. really I would waste my whole 5 years mcm tu je?? kamon..Im better than that. but yeah yeah. x gune dikenang balik. cume well. as I said. terkilan yg thats the last thing that he gonna remember the most about me..

anyway. aku selamat smpai dirumah pagi semalam, lepas Subuh. Alhamdulillah.. Allah makbulkan doa aku yg mintak dpt smpai umah dgn slmatnye.. He always listen. :]

cume agak risau sgt2 yang mama sakit haritu. tp Alhamdulillah jugak.. mama selamat operate. malu sikit sbb aku mmg tak dpt tahan prasaan and nanges depan dorang mase cite yg mama masuk ward. siap dah packing barang sbb nk balik. tp Abah ngn Mama x bagi.. ='( aku risau sgt2..risau x sempat je. dan2 je lepas tu msg mama ckp i love you i love you. haha. tapi skang dah biase ckp dah. aku sedar, nape laa ngn bf laju je dok ckp rindu2 sume. ngn mama sindri segan nk ckp. segan x btempat namenye ni.. I promised myself that aku nk lebih hargai mase2 yg aku ade dgn Mama and Abah ni.. tak saba nye nk abes blaja. nk keje btul2,kumpul duit. nk bawak Mama pegi Aussie. hehehe. asalnye, plan nk pegi dgn someone yg disayangi sgt tu. tp org tu tade pulak. no no. bukan la nk ckp parent ni my second choice. cume tersedar, yg aku sbenarnye nk dorang yg ade disamping aku. because dorang la segalanye2..

mase kt Arau. aku risau sgt kalau tibe2 dpt message dlm klas, dpt taw ade something bad happen kt salah sorang. or worst, both of them. mcm yg jadi kt one of my classmate... yg dpt taw Ayah die meninggal kt ward.. mmg dah taw ayah die sakit.. tp btape kuatnye die pade aku.. utk bangun balik lepas 2 hari je. dah boleh dtg class sume.. emmm..

Aku harap aku pun sekuat tu. tapi sygnye.. haihhh.

rase kerdil sgt, sbb taw, byk bende diluar kawalan kite kan. bende mcm, nyawe.. aku takut nk happy2 sgt kt sane. takut nk pegi bsukerie mcm budak2 rumah lain. gi mandi2 sungai sume.. bukan tanak.. aku takut. aku tanak ade kt tempat2 mcm tu incase something happend to mama or abah. mmg la even duk uma pun patut pk camtu, tp sbbkan dekat.. rase lagi slmat sbb dorang ade depan mate kan..

pape pun.. aku yakin Allah ade rancangan utk sume org. and kalau pape pun jadi, aku mmg tade care lain pun tp kene tpakse jadi kuat gak. aku segan nk tegur org. aku rase tu antare masalah terbesar aku. aku mmg agak assertive kott, sbb rasenye aku skang dah smakin tegas and boleh say NO kt org lain. tp cume mcm bende2 mcm nasihat2 ni still tak mampu. sbb aku sedar aku sindri terlampau laa byknye kekurangan. patutnye tu takleh jadi alasan, sbb kite mmg kene tegur kalau taw org buat salah. cume taw2 je la kan konflik ngn kawan2. aku mcm rase baik avoid. sbb nt lagi besa je masala. tu jugak antare salah satu sbb nape kalau leh, aku diam je. lagi baik xyah rapat2 sgt sbb aku tanak terlalu emotionally attached.  you have no idea betape runtuh seruntuhnye rase hidup ni bile kite terlalu attach kt someone, and that someone, betrayed you.

but disini, sy ingin menggalakkan pemikiran yg positive ye rakan2. so marilah usehe same2.  rasenye, bile masenye dah tibe, aku akan taw sendiri kot... :]
kalau ade, ade lah okay? sbb byk lagi bende penting yg nk kene pk..

ha! aku happy harini. sbb arini dpt jubah aku yg pertame. hehehehehe. jubah color itam, with beaded detailing  yg aku dah lame nak sgt. mmg la x la sejibik yg mcm aku nak. tp dekat2 la. hihuhihu. baju tu pakai mase event nanti. tudung. nanti pk! kalau nk shopping tudung lawa2, satu tempat je. Jeddah!!

so tu kene pegi someday. zzz.byknye nk gune duit. hmmmm

terkilan ade ulcer time2 balik uma ni. nk makan mama masak sume susah. kene makan sikit, pastu kene telan besa2 sbb nk kunyah lame2 sakit :[ pastu taleh mkn pedas. wuuuu.

aku ade smgt baru. that is, aku nk start kumpul Abaya! sume color. WOW.

kawan, aku tak dapat mengonlinekan diri or update blog sbb last Friday, rumah sewe kami kt Arau dipecah masuk and 3 laptop, 3purses,1 external and 1 handphone kene curi. pape pun sgt bersyukur sume selamat and tido dgn nyenyak gile. kul 7 baru prasan lappy hilang. sala sorang member nye kad bank ade attempt utk withdraw duit. tp luckily x bjaye. and ktorang bejaye block card dgn segere *sgt berpengalaman dlm block2 kad dgn bantuan Shaggy haritu.*

hihuihiu. okay pengalaman mmg mematangkan aku. tp terlalu byk kali sgt ilang purse, smpai dah biase. sume nanges barang ilang kecuali aku. dorang ckp aku rilek je. well, 1st of all, lain org trime that certain something tu dgn care berbeze. xkn nk expect aku nanges gak...aku bukan x sedih. cume mcm, bende dah jadi kan. aku rase nk gi klas je mase tu. tp tpakse gi report polis and skip 2 classes. aritu mmg 2 class je lgipun. hmmmmm

aku tkilan sbb ade asignment yg aku simpan dari diploma lagi. waaaaaa. sedey. :[

anyway, kawan2, aku akan pulang Selase malam nanti. so rasenye smpai KL around Rabu subuh. so doakan sy selamat smpai. insyaAllah.

byk sgt mende nk cite. tp tepaksela tunggu. huhu